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Sonny Bono Jokes

A duet sung by Michael Kennedy & Sonny Bono...
"Pine Trees Hurt Babe!"

Why should we be grateful to Michael Kennedy and Sonny Bono?
They're giving other politicians a good idea.

If Cher had been skiing and hit a tree, she would've probably lived...
It's an even fight, wood vs plastic.

What did Michael Kennedy say when he met Sonny in the afterlife?
"What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"

Still split on abortion, Democrats and Republicans join forces to take on new foe...
Trees

Sonny's last film...
Forest Thump!

What was Sonny wearing when they found him?
A Douglas Fir!

How did they find Sonny Bono's body?
Sonny side up.

What was the most surprising thing about the discovery of the body?
That he was recognized.

Police reported it was a quick death...
Just like his solo career.

The Grim Reaper is on thin ice with his boss now...
Boss:"I said, ' the singer Ono ', not Bono!"

What was the last thing that went through Sonny Bono's mind?
The 60's.

What kind of tribute should Cher perform?
A moment of silence.

How do we know Sonny was a politician at heart?
At the very end, he was stumping.

We are all mortal. And in the end...
Sonny was just ski and bones.

How could they tell when Sonny Bono was dead?
When Sonny turned blue!

Will Sonny Bono's ex-wife be getting a good Cher of his estate?

Hey Warren, explain to me about the "second tree theory" again...
Or was it the "magic branch" theory?

What are the wives of Michael Kennedy and Sonny Bono called?
Widows '98.

When his widow sues the ski area...
will her lawyer be 'Pro-Bono' ?

Sonny didn't see a tree...
He thought it was Cher up ahead.

As soon as Michael Kennedy's approval ratings went up after his accident, you just knew that some fool politician would try it...

What's the difference between Al Gore and Sonny Bono?
One's a tree-hugging stiff... and the other's a tree-hugging stiff.

How is Sonny like a "Most Wanted" poster?
The County Sheriff is the only one authorized to peel them off a tree!

What does Congress and U2 have in common?
Each is now missing one Bono.

What were Sonny Bono's last words?
"I'll show you what Michael Kennedy did wrong..."

If they have to go in threes...
Has anyone thought of buying O.J. Simpson a season pass to a ski resort?

What do the Republican and Democratic parties have in common right now?
One extra lift ticket apiece.

Sonny Bono and Mike Kennedy are doing a movie together...
"White Men Can't Ski"

How will the priest begin the eulogy?
"We are gathered together on this slalom occasion..."

Looks like Bono's music carreer has picked up again...
He's the newest member of the Dead Kennedys

What did Michael Kennedy say to Sonny just before he hit the tree?
"Go out Long!"

It was rumoured Sonny Bono was going to buy the ski resort...
But he changed his mind at the last minute and bought the farm.

How was Sonny Bono's skiing skills?
Kind of wooden.

Did you hear Sonny Bono died while skiing?
He fell off the "Cher" lift!

What did Michael Kennedy say to Sonny when they met in heaven?
"Been there-done that."

What did Ted Kennedy say when he heard that it wasn't another Kennedy?
"What a re-leaf!"

What does the deaths of Farley, Bono & Kennedy have in common?
A white powdery substance.

What does the island of Elba and the Heavenly Ski Lodge have in common?
Bonoparts

Did you hear that Sonny and Michael Kennedy opened a restaurant??
It's called Twin Oaks.

Who is newest FBI's Most Wanted west of the Mississippi?
Douglas Fir.

Weather forecast for Lake Tahoe area...
Blizzard conditions and Sonny in the trees.

What is the difference between Sonny Bono, Michael Kennedy and Frank Sinatra?
Frank is still going downhill!

Who really killed Michael Kennedy and Sonny Bono?
Tree Harvey Oswald!

What's the difference between Sonny and Cher?
Plastic stands up to impact!

Did you here Cher was nominated for an Academy award?
Her performance at Sonny's funeral was her best ever.

Did you hear about Sonny Bono?
They say he could pack his whole life into a trunk!!!

What noise did Sonny make when he hit that tree?
Whop!

I guess Sonny's ski vacation didn't go so well. Hey look at the bright side…
At least he's out of the woods.

What was Sonny's favorite concert?
Wood Stock.

What was Sonny's last addition to his wardrobe?
A pine leisure suit

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