Add to favourites
realhumour.co.uk Visit our sponsor
RealHumour: UK Humour Portal V2 articles | images | toplist | links

Michael Hutchence Jokes

What has Michael Hutchence got that Bob Geldof hasn't?
A widow.

How do you re-unite INXS?
Get 4 more leather belts.

When the Police discovered Michael Hutchences' body they also found heroin, cocaine and amphetamines, but the rest of the children were with Paula Yates.

How much weight can the average belt hold?
IN-XS of eighty kilos.

Whats the similarity between Hutchence and Di?
None knew how to use the belt right.

Why was Bob Geldof pissed off?
He was trying to talk to Michael Hutchence on the phone when the guy hung up on him.

Did you hear that the Ritz Carlton Double Bay are doing a rooms renovation?
They're putting in more hanging space.

Did you hear that Michael Hutchence was undergoing financial difficulties?
He had to tighten his belt.

Sydney Police have made an arrest in the Michael Hutchence death:
They have arrested his belt and charged it with being an accessory!

What are Princess Di & Michael Hutchence doing tonight?
Going to a John Denver concert.

Whats the difference between Paula Yates and the English cricket team?
Paula Yates got to take the ashes back to England.

What does INXS stand for?
In Need of eXtra Singer.

What do Michael Hutchence and Jim Morrison have in common?
They both liked hanging around doors.

Michael Hutchence walks into a Sydney Hotel and asks the receptionist if they can put him up for the night.

What was the last thing Paula Yates said to Michael Hutchence?
Keep your chin up!!

What advice did the waiter at the Ritz give Michael outside his room?
Hang in there!!

What was the last thing Michael Hutchence heard from the room next door?
"Belt up!"

Paula Yates rang Michael before he died and asked him, "When are you coming back to England?" He replied, "I'm not, I just gonna hang around here for a bit longer"

What do Greg Norman, The Socceroos & Michael Hutchence have in common?
They all choke at really inappropriate moments.

If Michael Hutchence had given the belt to Princess Di, they would both still be alive!

Whats 12 pounds and won't be plucked this christmas?
Michael Hutchence's guitar.

Elton John has released a tribute song to Michael Hutchence.
It's called "Dangle in the wind".

Whats the difference between Lady Di and Michael Hutchence?
Lady Di was alive when she left the Ritz.

Why did Michael Hutchence hang himself at the Ritz Carlton Double Bay?
He was performing INXS’s fourth album… The Swing.

What did Sir Bob Geldolf recently give Michael Hutchence for his birthday?
A belt.

What was the last song that Michael Hutchence sung to Paula Yates?
"Need You Tonight"

What was the last song that Michael Hutchence sang whilst standing on a rubbish bin, with a belt around his neck at the Ritz Carlton Hotel Double Bay?
"Kick"

What was Michael Hutchence’s favourite band?
The Doors.

What was Sir Bob Geldolf’s favourite INXS song?
"Disappear"

What song was Michael Hutchence singing when he hung himself?
Kylie Minogue’s "Got To Be Certain"

What song is Elton John going to sing at Michael Hutchence’s funeral?
Swinging In The Wind.

How would you describe Michael Hutchence right at this moment?
Elegantly Wasted.

Why did Michael Hutchence hang himself at the Ritz Carlton Double Bay Hotel?
Because he was caught trying to steal a bath robe.

What was Michael Hutchence doing after he stole the bathrobe?
"Listening Like Thieves"

What sound did Michael Hutchence make as he hung himself?
Shabooh Shoobah.

What INXS song did Michael Hutchence not listen to?
Don’t Lose Your Head

What song did Michael Hutchence leave on a tape for Paula Yates and Kylie Minogue?
Baby Don’t Cry.

What does Michael Hutchence, Lady Di, Mother Teresa and John Denver have in common?
They’re dead... you idiots!

What did Michael Hutchence say to his friends when they asked him to join them for coffee at Double Bay?
No thanks I wanna hang around the hotel?

What’s the Queen giving Fergie for Christmas?
A new belt and a trip to Sydney to stay at the Ritz Carlton Hotel.

Why did Michael Hutchence hang himself?
Because the Ritz Hotel’s new celebrity policy states that they are no longer allowed to hire out Mercedes Benz with a Driver.

Did you hear that Michael Hutchence was on the phone to the hotel reception, just before he died. He was trying to "Send A Message"

What was Michael Hutchence's last hit?
The door when the chamber maid entered the room.

Why did Paula Yates leave Bob Geldof for Michael Hutchence?
Because Michael was well hung.

Whats the Difference Between INXS and Manchester United?
Man Utd. can still play Giggs!!

Why does Michael Hutchence prefer to stay at the Ritz Carlton, Double Bay when he is in Sydney?
Because it is a cool place to hang.

Did you hear that Elton John will sing at Michael Hutchences funeral?
Yeah, he has re-written the words to "The Swing" by INXS.

What was the last thing to go through Michael Hutchence's mind?
"This belt is too tight".

Does Michael Hutchence play golf?
No, he is too much of a choker.

What was Michael Hutchence's last drink?
He had a quick belt.

What do Michael Hutchence and INXS groupies have in common?
They just hang around near the hotel door.

Why did Michael Hutchence hang himself?
He realised it was the only way of getting nearer to god than Saint Bob.

What's the difference between Michael Hutchence and Diana?
Diana forgot to belt-up.

Why did the Blonde commit suicide?
She wanted to meet Michael Hutchence.

Did you hear that Sir Bob Geldolf and his two daughters, Trixiebell and Peaches are to release a new song... It's called "Never Tear Us Apart"

What do you call INXS band members in a Ritz Carlton hotel room?
A mobile...

What the does the Ritz Carlton Hotel Double Bay and the Ritz Hotel Paris have in common?
They both had an in excess of celebrities.

Why did Bob Geldof start learning karate?
Because he heard he could kill Michael Hutchence with a black belt.

Michael Hutchence must have watched too many TAC(RTA)( Dept Main Roads etc.) adverts:
He took the "Belt up or suffer the consequences" advert too literally.

I heard that Michael Hutchence he was keen to notch up one more song before he died. Hotel staff allegedly heard him belting out a hit the morning of his death. Unfortunately he buckled under the pressure.

Michael Hutchence hated the paparazzi so he would often just hang around in hotel rooms.

Michael Hutchence was meant to be into some pretty kinky sex. Just before his death he was allegedly banging a door.

Visit Pigboy!

InstantHangover.co.uk

articles | images | toplist | links Copyright © RealHumour 2003