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Linda McCartney Jokes

What did Paul croon to Linda at the gravesite?
The Magical Mystery Maggot Tour (is coming to take you away).

What else did Paul sing?
Yesterday (now all my problems are 6 feet away-I will remember all that clay) .

What can be said about Linda McCartney?
She kept abreast of current events.

How can her life be best described?
Well, she led a meatless life and now she is lifeless meat.

What has Paul been doing since Linda died?
Beating his meat.

What were her last words to Paul?
Don't worry, the Beetles will take care of me.

Linda McCartney is dead...
Now she can be eaten by more than one beatle.

God: "Linda, what's the matter?"
Linda: "Why has Princess Di got a halo and I haven't?"
God: "That isn't a halo -- it's a steering wheel."

Linda went from pushing vegetables...
To pushing up vegetables.

In memory, Paul McCartney ate a bean sprout...
On top of a 16-oz steak.

Newest member of the Lonely Hearts Club Band:
Paul McCartney.

Veggie Linda vowed never to eat anything that has a face...
Worms on the other hand couldn't care less!

How did Paul feel when he knew that Linda was going to die...
Veggie sad.

So Linda McCartney has finally gone to meat her maker.

New Linda McCartney product release...
Vegetarian dyes.

New Linda McCartney dog treat...
Meat-free bones.

New KFC product...
portion of half-eaten wings.

Elton John's tribute?
Cancer in the Wings.

Paul McCartney's tribute?
Liver let die.

Tina Turner's tribute?
Simply the Breast.

What eats vegetarian and hates vivisection?
Linda McCartney's cancer.

Linda's first words in Heaven...
"So John, you still think you're bigger than Jesus Christ?"

Linda hopes to relaunch her musical career... by joining Ash.

What did John Lennon say to Linda when they met at the pearly gates?
Whew, someone told me it was supposed to be Yoko. Thank God it's you.

I wonder if they will cremate her or just bury her raw?

What was Linda's sign?
Cancer.

What's the biggest tragedy about Linda's death?
She is dead and Yoko is still alive.

Looks like John Lennon will be greeting Linda with some Pot.

In an effort to further the growth of the vegetarian cause, she has assumed one last role...
As fertilizer.

Paul wants Linda to be buried wearing a fur coat and a hamburger in one pocket and a Kodak camera in the other pocket.

What did Paul McCartney do after his wife's death?
Went out for a hamburger and steak with Yoko.

I guess her vegetarian diet didn't work so well.

Well, there goes the rumors of that Linda McCartney solo album.

What did Paul McCartney do with his wife's cremated ashes?
Sprinkled it on his hamburger. Tasted great.

Linda McCartney has died...
Perhaps if she had eaten more meat, she'd be alive today!

Why was Linda McCartney happy to die?
She thought Paul was dead.

What was Paul McCartney's reaction to his wife's death?
Live and let die.

Now Linda really is performing with WINGS.

What was Linda McCartney's greatest legacy?
That the Beatles could barely sing, but she and Yoko made them sound good.

Did you hear Linda McCartney was suprised to have cancer?
She thought "Instant Karma" was gonna get her...

Did you hear the Paul McCartney is covering a Guns and Roses song "
"I Used to Love Her, But I Had to Kill Her"

Visit Pigboy!

InstantHangover.co.uk

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