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Gay Jokes

Three gays are in a spa bath - Suddenly a blob of semen floats to the surface of the spa. They all look at each other and one says to the other two: "Ok, which of you two morons farted?"

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."

A group of homosexuals were attending a car-key party. One bet the others that he could recognise the make and model of any car by sticking the ignition key up his arse. The first key he correctly identified as a Ford Escort. The second as a Vauxhall Astra. As a joke, one of the guests got a spark-plug and shoved it up his arse. Immediately he said, "Yes, that's Champion!"

What's the difference between a microwave and a gay man?
Microwaves don't turn your meat brown.

How can you tell when you enter a gay church?
Only half the congregation are on their knees.

When in Greece, how do you separate the men from the boys?
With a crowbar.

What's the leading cause in death with lesbians?
Hair balls.

What is the definition of confusion?
Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

What did one gay sperm say to another?
"How do we find an egg in all of this shit?"

Two condoms walking past a gay bar. One says to the other, "Shall we go in and get shitfaced?"
Submitted by Barry Chuckle

What does GAY stand for?
Got Aids Yet?

What does A.I.D.S. mean?
Anus Injected Death Serum.

What do you call 2 gays in wheelchairs?
Rolaids.

What do you call it when there's two gays on Mars?
A Waste.

What do you call it when all the gays are on Mars?
A good start.

Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.

How about the Queer Lawyer that blew his first case...?
Or the two Queer Judges that tried each other?

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasorass.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopus.

Did you hear about the gay Magician who vanished with a poof?

AIDS:
Another Infected Dick Sucker.

What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A sharp penetrating pain in the arse.

What's the favourite pickup line in a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"

What do you call a person with AIDS And leprosy?
Redundant system.

A homosexual walked into a bar and said to the bartender, in a rather feminine voice, "Where is everyone?" The bartender turns to the gay with a scowl and said, "Out the back, hanging a fag." Suddenly, in a very deep masculine voice, the gay replied, "No shit!"

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "He's happy now - But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his arse."

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