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Marriage Jokes

Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it is damned near impossible.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished.

I'm thinking about getting married. I looked up the word "engaged" in the dictionary. It said, "To do battle with the enemy." Then I looked up mother-in-law. It said, "See engaged."

The future father-in-law asks, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replies, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

If all Brides are beautiful, where the fuck do ugly wives come from?
[Submitted by Craig Walker]

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