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Mommy, Mommy Jokes
Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.
Mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!
Son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head?
Mom: Don't worry about them. Now take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
Mom: Shut up and flush.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper!
Mom: Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.
Son:Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
Mom:stop complaining! Just eat it!
Son:Mommy, Mommy!
Mom:What is it now!
Son:Do I have to eat the beak as well?
son:Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
mom:Shut up and eat your cornflakes!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!
Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!
Son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
Mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!
Son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
Mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Son:Mommy, Mommy I don't want my hair braided.
Mom:Shut up and lift the other arm.
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I have a cookie?
Mom: Yes, the cookies are on the top shelf.
Son: But mommy, I haven't got any arms!
Mom: No arms, no cookie...
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Son: Can Granny take me?
Mom: Why? son:Her hand shakes.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress?
Mom: You know it won't fit over your iron lung.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Mom: Shut up Albert....
Son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't?
Mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
Mom: Good, it's working.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
Mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?
Mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs!
Son:Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base.
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