Add to favourites Visit our sponsor
RealHumour: UK Humour Portal V2 articles | images | toplist | links

Viagra Jokes

What do you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine?
Don King.

Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived yesterday at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the pharmacy distribution warehouse.
Scotland Yard has warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO."

If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use?
A growth chart?

This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife? She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half." The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks. The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor. The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper..."

I take Viagra and Prozac together. If I can't get it up, I don't care.

What's the clinical term for men who need viagra

Did you hear about the 13 year old kid who took three Viagra pills?
They had to rush him to the hospital because he had 3rd degree burns on his hand.

Have you heard where many seniors are opting to spend their second or even third honeymoons?
Viagara Falls.

Last night I tried a Viagra for the first time. When I swallowed it, it got stuck in my throat. This morning I awoke with a stiff neck!

Scientists have developed a new pill that will now help impotent men who are also hay fever sufferers. By combining Allegra to take care of the allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it gives you an erection not to be sneezed at!

Since the release of Viagra, exotic dancers now claim that they are receiving a lot more standing ovations.

Sammy sez, "I dated a girl so ugly, she's used as a antidote for Viagra!

VIAGRA Chapstik? One way to keep a "stiff upper lip!"

How do the nursing homes keep the old men in bed?
Give them Viagra.

What do you call a snake on Viagra?

Just heard that a UPS truck went into the Welland Ship Canal at Port Colborne, Ontario. Among the other packages was one containing a few thousand Viagra tablets. As the Viagra in the water went downstream, all the bridges went up.

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's 'little soldier' can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doctor thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "Listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out... Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the doctor profusely. Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went. The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."

Visit Pigboy!

articles | images | toplist | links Copyright © RealHumour 2003