Add to favourites
realhumour.co.uk Visit our sponsor
RealHumour: UK Humour Portal V2 articles | images | toplist | links

"Yo momma..." Jokes

Yo momma's so fat, it takes a train and two buses to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat that the first time she saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Yo momma's so fat, it took 25 minutes to download a picture of her from the Internet.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo momma's so fat, she used the interstate for a slip, and slid.

Yo momma's so fat, The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.

Yo momma's so, fat she plays pool with the planets.

Yo momma's so fat, when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."

Yo momma's so fat when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out off George Washington's nose!

Yo momma's so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!

Yo momma's so fat she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!

Yo momma's so fat when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials!

Yo momma's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes!

Yo momma's so fat, her feet need license plates!

Yo momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!

Yo momma's so fat, the Goodyear blimp accidently flew into her mouth!

Yo momma's so fat that if you hit her on the tighs you ride wave in.

Yo momma's so fat her Highschool picture is taken on airfoto.

Yo momma's so fat when she fell down and cut herself, gravy poured out.

Yo momma's so fat that she has to use a VCR for a pager.

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran out into the road in front of me, I tried to swerve round, but ran out of petrol.

Yo momma's so fat that after sex I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.

Yo Momma's so fat, she's a quantum singularity.

Yo Momma's so fat, it took you 16 years to find your way out.

Yo momma's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo momma's so ugly, she entered the ugly contest and the judge said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry.

Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her!

Yo momma has one short arm and can't applaude.

Yo momma has one short leg and walks in circles.

Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Yo momma's got three teeth... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.

Yo momma's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys.

Yo momma's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on.

Yo momma's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

Yo momma's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

Yo momma's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo momma's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block

Yo momma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.

Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter.

Yo momma's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number.

Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch

Yo momma's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing

Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces

Yo momma's so old, her birthday's expired.

Yo momma's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.

Yo momma's so old, she coughs out dust.

Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma's so old, she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo momma's so old I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo momma's breath smells so bad people look forward to her farts.

Yo momma's so greasy she sweats crisco.

Yo momma's so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.

Yo momma's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit.

Yo momma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo momma's so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her.

Yo momma's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her!

Yo momma's like McDonald's... Billions and billions served!

Yo momma's like a mobile phone; free after 7:30.

Yo momma's like a radio; she gets turned on by bent knobs.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball; first she gets fingered then chucked down the alley!

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, when she yawns, traffic slows down!

Yo momma's arse is so big, if it were bread, you'd need a paddle to spread it.

...for Computer Nerds

Yo mama's so fat, she uses doors instead of windows!

"Yo mama's so fat, she uses triple e-mail!

Yo mama's so fat, she can't fit in a chat room!

"Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even turn on her computer!

"Yo mama's so ugly, she can't get a cyber date!

Yo mama's so dumb, she spell-checks her name!

Yo mama's so lazy, she'll cut but not paste!

Yo mama's so lazy, she'll only single-click the mouse!

Visit Pigboy!

InstantHangover.co.uk

articles | images | toplist | links Copyright © RealHumour 2003